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Roulette Drinking Game $19.99 |
One of my good buddies Chris lives in Cleveland Ohio. It's a bit out of the way, but fuck it, this road trip is about having some fun, and break away from the same old bullshit back in Detroit. So I called him up, told him the deal, and he was like, “well shit come through and lets get FUBAR,” (fucked up beyond all recognition). Three hours later, at around 9pm, I arrived. Little did I know that this night I would have my first of many run-in's with the law, but I'll get to that later. In true bachelor style we started out at the strip club. Just your regular run of the mil titty bar, I mean not like I was there because the place had gourmet food. As much as I enjoy wall to wall T-N-A, the $8 Bud Lights were just to much. Luckily, we slammed a few 40's of Ole E in the parking lot to get a nice head start. We stayed for about an hour but then I got hit with a moment of clarity, I still have a lot of places to go and need to conserve some money. So we decided to slow it down a bit, and just go hit up some bars. Chris was talking about some country bar, I can't remember the name of it, but he said $1 drafts and I was sold. Plus we all know hot chicks love country music, and I am a man on a mission /wink. So we get there, and it's just full of women, stumbling around trying to hustle on the dance floor. Typical pimp fashion, I just go lean at the bar. I'm a pretty good looking young man, so I figure I'll let the women come to me, and boy did they. The thing about being a stranger in a bar, is the local women can smell you a mile away. They know they ain't seen you before, and they wanna be the first chick to reel ya in. So while we're just chillin at the bar to the left of us there's a few cuties playing some pool. A little blond chic, (she was a spinner), wearing a cowboy hat keeps checking me out. In my head I've already done put her on the to-do list, I'm just waiting for her to come on over, and get herself some more quarters. Just as I thought, she did. She walked up looking good enough to eat, and asked me and my home boy, if we were down to play some pool. Just like that it was game on. So a couple dozen beers, and endless games of pool later, cowgirl was feeling a little bit frisky. She just wanted to kiss, and kiss, and kiss some more. I won't lie, she was definitely a stage 5 clinger, but fuck, I'm on my way to Florida, and she was hot. Before I knew what hit me, she was asking me to go outside to the car. Who am I to deprive a sweet young thang of her wishes, so against my better judgment (haha yea right) I obliged. So I hurry up and put my junk away and roll down the window to see who the fuck just interrupted my head piece. Not Chris, but the fucking cops. I'm thinking to myself oh god I'm fucked. So they ask us to get out the car. typical bullshit is going on, the cop said, “how much have you had to drink,” “what were you doing,” yadda yadda. I look over at Heather, (That's my cowgirls name), and shes got saliva hanging off the side of her lips, her hairs all a mess from me holding it, and I just start cracking the fuck up. Then the cops started asking me, “do you find this funny son?” Of course I said no, but I was thinking yes. They pretty much gave me the run around, and said, “don't let me catch you driving, if you had your keys in the ignition we would hall you in.” They let me go. Heather didn't share the same fate though. This is going to sound crazy but she got reamed out by the cops for wearing patent leather boots. I guess it's forbidden so men can't see the reflection of their panties . Had the cops not banged on the window, it wouldn't have made a difference cause she wouldn't of been wearing panties. So in the end we learned that in Cleveland, Ohio, it's OK to get a blow job while sitting behind the wheel of a vehicle, so long as the chick doing so ain't wearing patent Leather Boots. Until next time, stay safe, avoid the drama, and just get yourself a toy from HappyEndingOnline.com =)
Now we're all up in the car, things are getting hot and heavy. The next thing you know my zipper falls down and my cock flopped out. I looked at her and then said "oopsy.” She looked back with a grin ear to ear, smiled and said, “let me help you with that.” It was curtains at that time, the next 10 minutes I think the only words I could mutter were something like I love you. Can you blame me? Just as I'm getting ready to explode, someone starts pounding on the car door. She popped her head up, and I was like, “don't stop, I'm cumming.” Which I wasn't, but I sure wanted to.
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I'm a Michigan man, born and raised. This is my home, and always will be to some extent. I've been working in Construction since I was in diapers, well at least it feels that way. But lately, with the crumbling economy, I've just been feeling like I'm stuck in a rut. The job market here has gone to shit. I've managed to save up some money, but how long is that going to last. There comes a time in ones life, where you just say to yourself, enough's enough. I was just bored and needed a change of scenery. So I said screw it. I decided to pack my bags, and head down South to Florida, where my brother lives and give it a shot. But first, I was going to take my time, hit up some bars and mingle with the locals of select cities along the way. Which brings me to my first stop.